Ever heard those words aimed at you? As with any phrase, context matters, the source matters, tone matters, and probably a few other things. But at the end of the day, the variables don’t really matter that much. “You’re not doing it right” just isn’t a phrase most of us like to hear.
I heard it most often in my life from my mom. I know now that she was doing the best that she could. She had a lot of anxiety about how we were all “supposed” to be navigating life. That anxiety most often spilled over onto me. Her fears about my ability to be successful led her to micromanage my every move. And if I made one that was not in line with what she thought I should do, that’s when I’d hear it.
Our family relationships can be very complicated. And when someone with whom you have a relationship that’s difficult passes away, it can leave you with a lot of unresolved shit. For me, resolution sometimes comes through writing. So, that’s what I did last year.
“You’re Not Doing It Right: Loving My Mother Through An Unpredictable Caregiving Journey” is going to be released on Mother’s Day. This project has been a labor of love, grief, and healing. My greatest hope is that one other caregiver will feel less alone, less like they don’t know what they’re doing, and less ashamed.
I marvel at how the brilliant people supporting me on this project are pulling things together. I wanted to share the cover with you, in hopes that you might be excited with me. Pre-orders start in April. Stay tuned for more details!