I have been feeling stressed the f* out lately. Between time passing quickly, the state of the world/country, and the list of things below, I’m overwhelmed some days. Here are a few of the things currently on my mind.
It’s allergy season and I can’t stop sneezing as I type this.
The economic outlook generally in the US right now is not great.
My company needs to scale or risk having to turn away business.
We’re buying a house and moving.
I have young adult kids trying to launch.
I don’t know about you, but any one of those things causes some stress ranging from mild annoyance to sleepless nights. But all together? They’ve got me popping sleeping gummies to get through the night.
When I sat down to think about what to share with you this week, all I could think about was how stressed out I feel. Since so many of you tell me how much you appreciate my honest candor about the struggles of life and business, you only have yourselves to blame if you don’t want to hear about my stress today. However, you’re always welcome to skip this one if my stress will cause your stress levels to go up. Do what you need to to take care of yourself above all else, friend.
Still reading? Okay, here we go.
Two things can be true at the same time. My business is doing really well right now. That’s what’s prompted me to realize it’s time to get serious about scaling. I never want to tell a client that I don’t have capacity to help them. Especially since so much of my business comes from consistent relationships with clients who keep inviting me back to help in other areas, or who call me from new companies to ask if I can work with them in their new organization. I want Patnaude Coaching to be able to say ‘yes’ to helping every time there’s a good fit.
At the same time, growth is hard. It comes with a million tough decisions about where to invest my two most precious resources–time and money. Growth means I have to take a hard, honest look at where I’ve been spending those resources and figure out what to adjust. Not to mention trying to peer and squint into the future to evaluate the risk of stepping out on faith. And then there’s the people aspect of growth. What if I overpromise the amount of work I can give to contractors? What if my clients refuse to work with anyone but me?
Anyone else’s stomach hurting just reading that?
No? Just me? Okay. I mean, that’s fair. It’s my business after all. But stick with me here… I’m pretty sure there’s something relatable in here for you.
We’re all faced with stressful situations at work. You may not be responsible for the whole company like I am. (Although I’m looking at you, my CEO’s reading this!) Maybe you’re responsible for a team. Maybe just for yourself. Some days, even being responsible just for ourselves can be a heavy load.
When I wake up in a panic in the wee hours of the morning, it’s just the stressful feelings that are on my mind. It usually comes in the form of questions to which I feel like I don’t have any good answers. What’s going to happen? Will this or that work out? What if it all comes tumbling down?
Those are not helpful questions. They reflect things over which I have zero control. And that’s why they’re so f-ing stressful. Our stress response is triggered by events and is steeped in emotion. The body’s biological response is flight-or-fight. Our bodies want to do something. We want to confront the problem or flee from it to survive. Anything to make the stress stop.
Calm down, amygdala. We’ve got this.
My stress often makes me feel immobilized and helpless. Powerless. In order to move out of it, I need a plan. So, I’m trying to change the questions I ask myself to be able to develop that plan. Here are some examples:
What am I really stressed out about? Like, at the root?
What can I control in this situation?
What actions can I take that will move me toward a solution/the outcome I want?
Here’s the bottom line. When we stay focused on the feelings created by stress, that can actually prevent us from moving out of stress. Instead, let’s all try to change the questions. Ask yourself questions that can help you identify actions you can take. And don’t worry if you have to do this more than once. Over the past 30 days, I’ve done it at least six times that I can pinpoint. Every time I do it, it helps. Now, if I can just remind my brain of that as I drift off to sleep, I’ll be all set.
