When I was in middle school, I had a friend named Marcy. She was quirky and funny, always ready with a smile for everyone. I remember thinking that she was sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly, even when she got picked on. When I think back about her, she always struck me as younger than me, even though she was a grade ahead of me. Her childlike view of our small middle school world was endearing to me, but definitely made her a target for some unkindness.
A sense of deja-vu
I don’t know where Marcy is now, but I’ve been thinking about her lately. My bonus daughter, Chloe, came to live with us full time at the beginning of last year. As she stepped down off of the medication she’d been given for years to subdue her, I wasn’t sure what to expect. She’d been heavily medicated by her other family for 10 years. We didn’t know what her real personality was like.
The person who emerged reminds me a lot of Marcy. She looks at the world through a childlike lens, even though she’s 20. The first job Chloe had was last summer with a local pizza chain. Her workplace experience was terrible. None of the managers gave her any feedback or direction. Instead, they talked poorly about her behind her back. We know this because my youngest child, Robin, also worked there at the time. When Robin made it clear to their coworkers that that wasn’t cool, they simply stopped talking about her in front of Robin.
About two weeks short of Chloe’s 90 days, she was let go via text. The only explanation was that she hadn’t performed up to expectations. She was disappointed and frustrated, but not surprised. We’d been encouraging her to ask the managers for feedback and help on getting better in the areas where she was struggling. She hadn’t worked up the courage to do that before being let go.
Workplace protections shouldn’t just be “official”
The 35th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act is coming up on Saturday, July 26. So many disabilities aren’t visible or physical. Sometimes they just mean someone needs a little extra guidance, time, more direct feedback, or a repeat of a training. The ADA provides legal protections which are important. But why does it have to come to that in order for our workplaces to offer a little extra support for any of us in the workforce who need it?
Do we need an Act of Congress to show more compassion?
To give direct feedback?
To meet an employee or team member where they are?
What now?
Yesterday, Chloe invited our little family to go out to dinner with her to celebrate that she’s been at her new job for four months. It’s the longest she’s held a job, and she’s super proud of herself. She’s found a great company to work for where she’s valued and appreciated for exactly who she is and what she can offer. She’s been driving for nearly a year and is slowly learning how to be a young adult. It’s amazing what the combination of a supportive home and a supportive workplace can do for our ability to succeed.
Look around your workplace. How are you doing at meeting your team members where they are?
How often do you check in about the type of guidance, support, management, and leadership they need as it compares to what you’re offering?
When was the last time you asked for feedback about what you could do to improve how you support others?
Want some help? Let’s connect.
