The classic movie Groundhog Day has been interpreted many ways by many people. The deeper meaning of it is up for debate and possibly just very personal. But on the surface at least, it’s about being stuck in a loop until the main character, Phil, finds the right way to free himself from it. Huh. That sounds like some of the conversations I have with leaders about interactions at work. Those interactions repeat themselves and don’t really improve. At least, not until that leader figures out the right way to change things.
Loops and Patterns
I get trapped in the same loops myself at times. Patterns of communication develop between people all the time. It’s normal and natural. The problem comes in when those patterns leave either person feeling frustrated or unable to get the results they want. We get trapped when we can’t figure out how to change the interaction for the better.
Sounds simple, right? Everything seems simpler when we look at it objectively from the outside. But tap into your own experience to really understand how hard this can be. Think of a person with whom you just find it difficult to communicate. Recall the last two or three interactions you had with them. While the interactions may not have repeated themselves exactly, just like in the movie, maybe the changes you’re making so far haven’t been the right ones.
Break Out of the Loop
As Stephen Richards said, “To get something different, you must do something different.” Here are a few questions to help you shift those interactions.
- What do you really want out of this relationship/interaction? What’s your goal?
- What is currently getting in the way of achieving that? You may have to dig a little here to get to the real cause or causes.
- What do I control in this situation? (Hint: it’s you. You control what you do, say, and think. Nothing else.)
- Given all of that, what can I do to move toward getting the result that I want?
Don’t let work trap you in a Groundhog Day-like world. You can’t control what anyone else might do or say, but you can control your response, your reactions, and your words. Don’t give that power away. Harness it.
Want to learn more about how I can support your leadership growth? Let’s talk.
