For a long time, I did not fully buy into the idea that we choose our own happiness. If this past year has taught me anything, it’s how true that actually is. It may not always feel like it in the midst of busyness and life coming at you from a million different directions all at once, but it is. We decide what gets our attention. Any feelings of being “pulled” in another direction are usually an emotional response, and often one driven by some form of guilt.

In that spirit, I’ve recently been working on fully owning my responsibility for my own happiness. And I’ve had some help.

Catching Glimmers

I have a coach. We all have blind spots, and I’m certainly no exception. My coach helps me recognize when I’m telling myself stories that aren’t helping me. She reminds me that it’s okay to give myself permission to set down things that aren’t mine to carry. And she helps me set goals for myself that are meaningful, reasonable, and aligned with who I am.

She’s also someone who does a really good job of appreciating the smallest things about everyday life that make her happy. She calls them “glimmers.”

*Insert eyebrow raise here*

Not gonna lie. The first time I saw her post on social media about glimmers, I rolled my eyes. My inner critic was all over that, immediately commenting that it was silly. That it was Pollyanna-ish.

But there was a very small part of me that sat up and took notice. And wanted that for myself.

You probably know that life has been moving at a pace for me over the past year or so that isn’t sustainable. I’ve had many shifts and changes at home, including moving to a new one, and lots of challenges. I’ve reached my stress limit a couple of times this year, to the point where my body said, “Yeah, we’ll take it from here,” and physically shut me down to force rest.

I’ve been watching my coach post every so often about these glimmers. Every time I see another one, that small part of me that wanted to see them in my own life paid attention. And that small part of me has been growing.

What’s wrong with that?

What’s wrong with noticing all the little mundane things that make us smile? What’s wrong with slowing down enough to stop taking them for granted?

Nothing.

This new house we moved into is a lake house. It sits up on a hill and overlooks a small, private no-wake lake. When we first looked at the house, there were no leaves on the trees yet and we could see that lake clearly. It’s one of the many reasons we loved it immediately. By the time we moved in June, we could barely make out a glimpse of that lake through all the foliage.

Last night, we started changing that.

We cut down some of the sucker growth saplings, trimmed some branches, and cleared out overgrown bushes. In just 20 minutes, we had a little more of a view of that calming, beautiful water.

Today, I saw another post from my coach about her glimmers. I was working from home, and something made me look up from my computer and out the window, and I noticed it. A glimmer of my own.

No regrets

Isn’t every single deathbed story we’ve ever heard all about someone’s regrets for not appreciating what they had, or moving too fast, or working too much? I don’t want that to be my story. I want to have no regrets about how I lived my life. Sure, I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I write about them all the time. But someone wise once told me to be careful of regretting too much, because every step we take has led us to where we are now. And I love my life now.

I’m reconsidering my position on catching glimmers. I may refer to them as something different (though I’m not sure what, to be honest), but I’ve started noticing them.

The sun glinting off the lake.

The way my dog looks at me.

The candles with funny sayings on them that my kids gave me.

The way my cat lounges with her fur going every which way and an expression on her face that always makes me laugh at how ridiculously adorable she looks.

Noticing all of these little, mundane things, and appreciating them, is helping me feel less stressed. Grateful to be alive. And helping me have some perspective on how very lucky I am.

What glimmers do you see when you look around?