There are so many myths associated with what it means to be a leader that I could write another book about them all. The things I hear from leaders, especially newer ones, about what they think it means sometimes surprises me. There’s one that I think is particularly dangerous. It’s the idea that as a leader, you’re always supposed to have all the answers. I’ve got news. What’s actually true is that to act like a leader, you must be vulnerable.
Meet Ned
A few years ago, I coached a manager leading a team of six people. Let’s call him Ned. Ned used to be a member of the team, working alongside his colleagues with another manager leading the team. When that manager moved up, Ned was promoted to take his place.
Ned sought out coaching because he was struggling to move from being a peer to being the team leader. But each session, he focused on how he was “failing” in his role because there had been one or two instances where he hadn’t known the answer to something a team member was asking. When we explored that a bit more, he said with a lot of exasperation, “But it’s my job to know the answers!”
He was genuinely vexed and worried. And he genuinely believed he had to be able to give an answer to any question asked right then, in the moment. We had several conversations after that about shifting his mindset around this belief. It took time, but he was ultimately able to change that thinking.
People can tell
People can smell insincerity, posturing, and inauthenticity a mile away. Leaders who try to convince others that they have all the answers are not fooling anyone. Instead, they end up breaking down trust. How can we trust someone we are pretty sure isn’t telling the truth?
If you’re looking for alternative ways to handle this, try using some of these phrases next time you’re in a situation where you don’t have the answers. See what happens.
- That’s a great question. What have you tried so far/who have you talked with so far to help find an answer?
- That’s a great question. Let’s find the answer together.
- I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you by (date/time) with an answer on that.
Your job as a leader is to lead, support, and guide your team to success. No part of that says you can only do it if you have all the answers all the time. You’re human. And the more your team members can see that, the more they will respect and trust you. So, act like a leader and be vulnerable. It pays off.
Want to learn more about how I can support your leadership growth? Let’s talk.
